Miracle

A miracle. This is probably the hardest topic to write about. I have started at least four times, four different interpretations of the word miracle. Not one seemed to echo the right feeling in me...then I realized, they were all about me. If a miracle would happen I would be rich, have a new house, be pregnant, never worry again...etc. Well, that's really not how I feel. If a miracle would happen or if I had the power to create/make a miracle happen I would want it worldwide.... to end, suffering, war, disease, pain, hopelessness... I would want everyone to benefit from my miracle. I am just a small blip on the map, who else would notice if the miracle only happened to me? What would your miracle be?

Somewhere....

Somewhere, there is a place, a place I can finally feel at ease. I can lay my head down with no worries interfering with my peace. I feel safe and free at the same time. I'm not worried about school, work, money or bills. Life seems to just flow by, without the existence of time. I hear waves crashing against rock and smell the salty air as it whips my hair around my face. I love this place, but I fear if I stay too long will all my happiness turn into fear? Anxiety? Insomnia? I have to leave before this happens...Knowing that I can always return.

My Oldest Friend (Sunday Scribblings)

It is 3:30pm and we would be jumping off of the bus. We would run to her house (it was closer) slamming the door and running past her mom we would fly into her bedroom oasis to sit and watch after school cartoons: Beetlejuice, Ducktales and Tiny Toons were our favorites. Sometime before Beetlejuice was over I would call my mom to let her know I was ‘home’ and would be up as soon as the cartoons were over.

I was in the 4^th grade when Brandy moved into my neighborhood and we became best friends almost immediately. She was a year older, beautiful, teased her hair, wore makeup, shaved her legs and she was my best friend.

We got into lots of trouble in those few years her and her family lived in my neighborhood; we got caught skipping school, smoking and many other things. But we always remained true to each other, we would never sell the other out, even if it meant a lighter sentence for the other. Even though we were so young and had many friends come in and out of our lives we were always friends. She moved around a lot so we didn’t get to spend much time together after she left my little neighborhood, but we always talked.

To this day it is still true, we have lost contact with each other more times than we can count, but we always manage to find each other and are able to pick up where we left off, like nothing ever changed. She is my oldest friend, a friend I know I will have when I’m 80.

Sunday Scribblings #1

My chance meeting came about two years ago when I went on a trip back to my hometown. My husband and I just got off of the plane, rented a car and drove the 30 minutes to the tiny dot on the map from which I was raised. I stopped in the local Walmart to pick up all the necessities that are forbidden on planes, just as I was to plop down my super sized bottle of shampoo and conditioner I look over and it was my childhood best friend. We left things on rocky terms when I left home for the sparkle and dazzle of Los Angeles and I was so nervous to talk to her. I said hell, she had a baby in tow, which happened to be hers, information which I was not privy to... So many emotions came up: Guilt, because this girl was a true best friend, we did everything together, knew everything about each other and I honestly felt we would have a friendship that lasted the test of time. Anger, because I did not even know she was pregnant let alone with a 8 month old. Happiness, because just seeing her makes me feel good. Awkwardness, where do you begin after 8 years? I knew that we would never have a friendship again. It was over, we have grown apart... I still haven't heard anything from her and I think I have come to terms with that now. I still think of her often, but she was a great part of my life, I'll never forget her.